Andy Bell

[Arnie Westfall]

Alot of us have been there bro... you AREN'T alone! After 10 or so (after I 
went down) very forgettable and unmemorable (no good memory) years,  its 
been 14 years of looking in the mirror and liking who looks back at me. 
There are times it isn't exactly easy, but the benefits and rewards are 
definitely worth it. It does get easier. write me if you want to.
Arnie.
LBK
At 06:05 AM 3/25/2004, you wrote:
>Dear List,
>
>Hi there.  Sorry to have dropped a bomb and then skedaddled...about 4 
>hours after posting my last message I checked myself into a detox 
>program.  I just got home about 45 minutes ago and wanted to send an 
>update to you all.  Thanks for all of the suggestions­you all came to the 
>same conclusion that I did: get help, now!  The fact that it took me 16 
>years to come to the same conclusion that it took all of you 5 seconds to 
>formulate proves to me that I was, umm, NOT taking very frequent “looks in 
>the mirror” if you know what I mean.  I know that five days isn’t much in 
>the way of being clean, but I suppose that Rome wasn’t built in a 
>day.  I’ve been on pain meds for close to 16 years, and this is the 
>longest I’ve gone, in quite a few years, without any narcotic “help.”  The 
>doctor at the detox center wasn’t very much help with his advice: he told 
>me that I’d probably “always need to be on some kind of narcotics” to 
>manage my pain and that I just needed to learn how to take them as needed 
>and as prescribed.  I don’t think he’s dealt with very many patients that 
>were NOT heroin addicts.  I was the ONLY inpatient that was NOT a heroin 
>addict.  I was so surprised by that­I had no idea that heroin was such a 
>problem.  I’m completely drug free at this point and I understand that the 
>first few days out of detox are the worst insofar as relapses are 
>concerned.  I haven’t seen my wife or daughter yet; work and school.  I 
>have to remember that I’m doing this for them as much as I am for ME!
>
>The first three days not taking the pills and the patch were pretty, uh, 
>uncomfortable, and I wasn’t allowed to just sleep through it (I had to 
>attend 5 NA meetings per day, in house...) so I got the full exposure to 
>the detoxing.  I don’t want to ever have to do that again.  I am not going 
>to try to quit forever­just for the next 15 minutes, and the next 15 
>minutes, and the next 15 minutes­until I can start taking bigger 
>bites.  I’ll keep you updated; for right now, I have to find out where I 
>can it an NA meeting, today.  I have the schedule­I just have to use it.
>
>Thanks, everyone, for listening and for caring.
>
>Andy
>
>Andrew P. Bell
>
>The computer industry mimics our "binary" lives:
>you're either a "1"-- alive, or a "0"-- dead!
>
>

You pay the dues for the life you choose.
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